Wrapped In Gratitude | My Quilts of Valor Ceremony in Southern San Diego, CA
Quilts of Valor Non-Profit
This November, I joined twelve other veterans right here in East County San Diego to receive a Quilt of Valor during a special luncheon at Foothills United Methodist Church in La Mesa. I will share with you what the Quilts of Valor Foundation is, how I have personally been “touched by war,” the story of my shipmate whose death changed my path, and how I now get to serve other military families; by telling their stories through photography and journaling.
Inside label of my Quilt of Valor
Wrapped In Gratitude
Recently I found myself at Foothills United Methodist Church in La Mesa. The room was full. Veterans. Spouses. Kids. Quilters. Members of the La Mesa Woman’s Club and the La Mesa Chamber of Commerce. They had gone “all out” to make this a special luncheon. There were so many of us that the original VFW location could not hold everyone, so the whole event was moved to the church!
Thirteen veterans were being honored with the Quilt of Valor ® (QOV) that day. Branches included: Navy, Army, and Marine Corps. In total, Four women were amongst the 13 veterans! Of the group of men, two of them were Vietnam veterans, which added a whole extra layer of emotion to the room. I surely cried.
When my name was called and they wrapped that quilt around my shoulders, I felt a very real lump in my throat. I am not a crier. That day I was close. I teared up at one of the Veterans’ recollection of this being the first time in 50 years that he was able to embrace his military service because, and I quote, “when I got home from the jungle, people were burning the flag; I wasn’t allowed to talk bout it.” Next up was my turn. It felt like being wrapped in a physical “thank you.”
I want to share what the Quilts of Valor Foundation is, what it means to be “touched by war,” a little of my own story, and how you can support this beautiful work for the veterans in your life.
What is the Quilts of Valor Foundation
The Quilts of Valor Foundation is a national non-profit with a mission that is as soft and strong as the quilts they make. Their official mission statement is
“To cover Service Members and Veterans touched by war with comforting and healing Quilts of Valor.”
Quilts of Valor began in 2003 with a dream by Founder Catherine Roberts’ son was deployed in Iraq. In her words, she saw a young man sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, overwhelmed and in despair. Then she saw him in the next “scene” wrapped in a quilt, and his whole demeanor changed from hopelessness to peace. From that dream came a simple but powerful idea: Quilts equal healing. You can read the full story on their Our History page.
A Quilt of Valor is meant to be
High quality and handmade
Pieced and quilted by volunteers
Awarded intentionally in a ceremony, not just dropped off like a random blanket
The foundation calls each quilt a civilian award, not a gift. It is a way of saying very clearly, “Thank you for your service, your sacrifice, and your valor.”
Since that first quilt was awarded at Walter Reed in 2003, hundreds of thousands of quilts have been awarded across the country. Each one is stitched, prayed over, and then wrapped around a real human who has been touched by war.
Waving American Flag out of Pilot window
What does “touched by war” mean
One phrase you will see and hear often with Quilts of Valor is “touched by war.”
On the nomination forms, “touched by war” is explained as:
Serving in direct combat
Serving in harm’s way
Experiencing the psychological and emotional impact of war, even if there is no visible injury.
The foundation’s own forms talk about veterans who have been wounded physically or psychologically and would be comforted and helped by a Quilt of Valor.
I really appreciate that the foundation leaves room for the invisible stuff… The stories we carry privately. The heaviness that does not show up in dress blues but absolutely lives in the body and mind of a veteran.
For me, being “touched by war” is less about a movie scene and more about a slow, quiet accumulation of stress, loss, and responsibility.
How I have been “touched by war”
I served in the United States Navy Reserve for a little over eight years. Most of my time was spent behind a desk, supporting the mission, taking care of admin, and people. On paper, it does not look like the classic war story.
But my nervous system did not know that.
The weight of those years, the constant readiness, the stories that came across my desk, and the wider world we were serving in, all left fingerprints on my heart and mind.
One of the heaviest fingerprints came from losing a fellow shipmate to suicide. She took her own life. Even typing that now makes my chest feel tight. Her death cracked something open in me. RIP FCA2 Bridgette E. Strzok
Her life and her death pushed me to take my own mental health seriously.
They forced me to ask hard questions.
To listen to the people who loved me.
To let go of my picture of “staying in at all costs.”
I had wanted to stay. I had wanted to become an officer. But as my contract came to an end, it became clear that stepping away was actually the brave thing for me.
So when the volunteers read that phrase, “veterans who have been touched by war,” over our group in La Mesa, I knew exactly where that landed in my own story. In my grief. In my anxiety. In my healing. In my faith.
The La Mesa ceremony: Thirteen quilts and two tiny pins
Our ceremony at Foothills United Methodist Church was so simple and so tender. Tables were set up for the luncheon and rows of chairs for the presentation. At the front of the room was a table lined with folded quilts. Deep reds. Calm blues. Soft neutrals. Each one ready to be wrapped around someone’s shoulders.
Before the ceremony, a volunteer explained that along with each quilt, we would receive an official certificate from the foundation and a printed citation that highlighted our service.
Then it was time.
We were called up one by one. We shared our branch of service and, if we wanted, a bit of our story. I shared briefly about my years in the Navy, my shipmate whose death pushed me to care for my mental health, and how God has been kind to walk with me in that process. Then they wrapped my quilt around my shoulders.
Hello, patriotic burrito-wrapping- feelings.
Two of the veterans in our group were Vietnam veterans. In addition to their quilts, they received Vietnam Veteran Lapel Pins from the official United States of America Vietnam War Commemoration. The pin is described as “a lasting memento of the Nation’s thanks” and is presented in public ceremonies all over the country.
Watching those small pins be given, after hearing their stories, was a lot. In the best way. Many Vietnam veterans did not come home to cheering crowds. Seeing them honored now felt like a tiny, holy bit of repair.
From being served to serving others
Receiving a Quilt of Valor felt like someone was saying, “We see you. We see the years your body and mind have carried this. We see the cost that never made it into your evals.”
I do not wear a uniform anymore. These days I am a homeschool mom in Southern San Diego. I am a photographer who spends a lot of time at Miramar National Cemetery, military retirements, homecomings, pinning ceremonies, and with families navigating miscarriage and newborn seasons.
Now my service looks like telling other people’s stories.
Noticing the tiny moments…
The way a Marine mom’s shoulders drop when she finally sees her recruit at graduation…The way a newly retired chief looks at his spouse during the reading of orders… The way a grieving parent holds their baby… The way a Vietnam veteran stands up just a little taller when someone finally says “thank you” without conditions.
This day in La Mesa felt like God letting me stand on the other side of the lens for a minute. For years I have been photographing ceremonies like this for others. This time I got to be the one wrapped up, the one being seen, and I get to share photos from that day with you too.
How you can support Quilts of Valor and the veterans you love
If your heart is tugging a little bit right now, here are some easy, practical ways to channel that into action.
1. Nominate a veteran or service member
If you know someone who has been “touched by war,” you can nominate them for a Quilt of Valor through the foundation’s website.
Start here:
Or go directly to the online nomination form
The foundation is very clear that this is not a birthday present or surprise gift. It is an award that deserves a real presentation and a real “thank you.”
2. Find a local Quilts of Valor group
Quilts of Valor has groups and chapters all over the United States.
You can use the “Who’s in My Area” map on their site to find a group near you and reach out to the coordinator:
If you are in Southern California, this is how groups like the Escondido team that wrapped me in my quilt keep track of veterans to honor and volunteers to plug in.
3. Volunteer, even if you do not sew
If you are already a quilter, there is a very obvious place for you here. But even if you are not, there is still a ton you can do.
Ways to help:
Press fabric and cut pieces during sewing days
Help bind quilts and add labels
Volunteer at presentations and ceremonies
Help with photos, set up, greeting guests, or bringing snacks
The Quilts of Valor “Get Involved” page has more information on making quilts, joining the LongArmy of longarm quilters, and other volunteer roles. Quilts of Valor Foundation
4. Donate fabric or funds
Quilts of Valor is run by volunteers and funded by donations. If sewing is not your thing but buying a couple yards of fabric totally is, you can still be part of this.
Helpful links:
General giving: Donate to Quilts of Valor Foundation
Support a specific group: use the Who’s in My Area page to find a local group, then follow the donate instructions for that group. The Grace Company
They also accept good quality 100 percent cotton quilting fabric, especially in patriotic colors, plus batting and backing fabric, which you can often give directly to a local group.
5. Invite a presentation to your church or community
If you help plan events at your church, a school, or a civic group, consider inviting a local Quilts of Valor group to hold a presentation during a Veterans Day service or another special gathering.
You can:
Offer your space
Share info so veterans can be nominated ahead of time
Build a simple program around the presentations
Encourage your people to show up and cheer loudly
It might be the first time in decades someone has said “thank you” to a veteran in your pews.
6. Document your own family’s Quilt of Valor moment
This is the photographer in me talking, but please do not let these moments go undocumented.
Ask someone to take photos or video.
Write down the date and who was there.
Print at least one photo and tuck it in with the quilt label or in a small album.
If you are in San Diego County and your loved one is being awarded a Quilt of Valor, I would be honored to come alongside your family and tell that story with you.
How I will remember this day
My Quilt of Valor lives where I can see it from my cozy chair at home. Every time I look at it, I think of that day in La Mesa.
Thirteen veterans.
Four women.
Two Vietnam veterans with new lapel pins and, hopefully, a little more peace.
Volunteers grinning like proud aunties.
A room full of East County families showing up to say “thank you” with their presence and their applause.
Most of all, I think of this.
God has been kind to let me be both the one behind the camera and the one being seen. I have been touched by war and I have been touched by comfort.
If you have a veteran in your life, I hope you will take one of these action steps. Nominate them. Volunteer. Donate. Share this story with them.
And if you are a veteran reading this, from one veteran to another. You are not forgotten. Your service counts. Your healing matters. You deserve to be wrapped in honor and comfort too.
Some Self Portraits I took at home the same day:
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